((this is going to be long, because it feels like a lot has happened since the last journal... and it will probably be awhile before my next update anyways since I'm about to be ridiculously busy
)).
I need this feeling that I have had over the past week to last, I really really do. I know that my schedule it going to be killer, and the work will be hard, but I am so looking forward to throwing myself into this thing body, mind, and soul. Not being depressed for no reason will be a big helper there.
So I had my first clarinet lesson on Wednesday, and really like Dr. Spece, he seems cool. He sent me an email that I only just read, asking me if I had room in my schedule to join the Clarinet Choir (Master Class I think is it's formal name?) and said that he thought that I could be a "huge help" to the group. A help??? *upon reading this mentally flails around giggling like a maniac...only in my head lol but still* I've been practicing the new books he had me buy, and I am REALLY excited because I'm picking things up better and sounding better than I think I ever did in high school. And being invited to join the ensemble makes me really happy because I always loved hearing pieces with multiple instruments come together, it's so fun.
My other classes also seem like they are going to be interesting and fun. For once in my life, I think taking a 16 credit hour semester is going to be more than doable. I already met two other girls in my math class who I conversed with about the teachers and school I just transferred from (and whose math department I still work in part-time), and who share the same math enthusiasm that I have. We were all surprised that our Dif Eqns class actually has SIXTY PEOPLE in it, but I think we'll be okay. The only other class I've been in that's larger is a class that comes earlier in the day and has nearly 200 Freshmen. I think I'd be overwhelmed except for that fact that they all look cute and tiny and nervous lol.
Both of my jobs are going extremely well. I leave directly from classes and go to one job or the other, depending on what day it is. The Math Computer Lab has been buzzing, but not overwhelming in the least (and I'm allowed to work on homework in there when no one needs assistance), and it's comforting that I can still visit my old school and talk with the profs and the secretary and some other students who I've come to know. My other job is at a local art store called Art Things, and some of the employees I have known nearly as long as I've lived in this state. Not to mention that my liddle
works there now too. When I worked there yesterday from 12-6, I realized that even though I very much value my alone time, that at least a lot of the not-alone time I have is spent surrounded by people who I am quite comfortable with and who are very supportive. I even spent an hour helping some random customer yesterday, and even though he hadn't bought anything when he left (though I'm positive that he'll be back to get the things we talked about), I felt really good getting to talk and help with some of the things I really love. Having people ask me for advice on things (we had 3 people come in this week for gilding supplies! o.o) is really kinda cool, I feel like things I may have stumbled through and mistakes I might have made could make things smoother for someone else.
And finally, migraines suck. Somehow, despite the large number of migraines I've had lately, I'm still managing to keep things together. I'm not sure exactly why I am suddenly having a rush of them over the past couple of weeks (I'm going to read the thingses you sent Amber XD) but I know without the prescription I'm on they'd be unbearable. I can really tell when they're coming because I just feel like the next person who looks at me funny might just get their face ripped off with my claws, and usually it makes me fairly depressed and unnecessarily fatigued. Perhaps it's time to visit a neurologist soon, who knows. I consider myself extremely lucky that I have a prescription that heads most of them off these days, because in the past nothing and I mean nothing would work. I can live with a day of being cranky and somewhat less productive if I just remind myself that I used to be absolutely bed-ridden and would puke until my eyes had bruises around them if I turned my head too often. And no recent ER visits either. It could definitely be worse. <3
Oh Em Gee, Happy 
Zest
Devious Comments
--
"There is nothing more mean and ugly in this world than to have a loving gift, a beautiful spirit, and a desire to give and share these things when there is no one to share them with." --Ribaldi/Rigoletto, Rigoletto (Feature Films for Families movie)
Your liddle robin is happy to work with you too.
--
i've heard it too many times to ignore it
there's something that i'm supposed to be
--
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.~Japanese proverb
God never leaves me. In my ignorance, I have frequently thought that I have left God, but that is altogether impossible.~Angelou
Plurality in interpretation is a sign of strength.~Nietzsche
--
Pinky, you have the reasoning power of a deck chair.
Oh this?? I was just painting my room... IN BLOOD!!! -Jon Stewart
[link] - come visit me at conceptart.org
And yeah, I'm hoping the music keeps my brains together. Unfortunately the clarinet choir is on Thursday nights, so I might end up having to work on homework Wednesdays if we meet to watch a movie. If you don't mind me doing math while we watch or something.
--
Pinky, you have the reasoning power of a deck chair.
Oh this?? I was just painting my room... IN BLOOD!!! -Jon Stewart
[link] - come visit me at conceptart.org
Dunno if I'll make it on tonight or not, we had an event and I spent the entire day curled up in the tent with a migraine and the fucking doctors. .... just never mind, you know what I mean. I'll just have to see whatever works out, and judging by your journal I didn't know if you felt like chatting much anyways. I'll ttys somehow.
--
Pinky, you have the reasoning power of a deck chair.
Oh this?? I was just painting my room... IN BLOOD!!! -Jon Stewart
[link] - come visit me at conceptart.org
--
i've heard it too many times to ignore it
there's something that i'm supposed to be
--
Pinky, you have the reasoning power of a deck chair.
Oh this?? I was just painting my room... IN BLOOD!!! -Jon Stewart
[link] - come visit me at conceptart.org
I am actually horrible company right now. I feel like nobody listens to me or has a clue what's going on, and I can't change that fact because to do so would necessitate me bitching for hours about everything in my life that is wrong and all the people in my class that are wimpy two-faced assholes that get ten times the breaks I ever get and don't realize the blessings they have. The only way I seem able to shut off that sense of bitterness is to feel nothing at all and work work work till I get too sick to work anymore in a given day (hence not stopping till 11 pm when all the people I want to spend time with are understandably too tired to socialize...I mean there are people in other time zones but...then they make me stay up till 3 am and that doesn't work either, you know?).
And as I type my mom is telling me that the quinoa that I cooked for myself (a new dish, my ONLY Labor Day celebration while the rest of the fucking world is out playing) smells horrible and is making her sick and how terrible it was of me to cook it. WHile when the dog clearly needs to die and smells like shit and piss and I get sick over that and light candles, she tells me I'm overreacting. Lovely!
Anyway that was a roundabout answer to your question/observation "judging by your journal I didn't know if you felt like chatting much anyways." But this journal is about you, not me, and lol that means I should stop talking about me. But yeah I feel sorry for you for asking because I just dumped a lot of negativity in this journal space
So long story short if your migraine is making it too hard to socialize, please don't worry. I actually would be pretty good at rallying myself into a good mood but on the same token I don't want you feeling pressured. I promise I won't be unpleasant though should we cross paths tonight. I'd love to hear what's going on.
--
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.~Japanese proverb
God never leaves me. In my ignorance, I have frequently thought that I have left God, but that is altogether impossible.~Angelou
Plurality in interpretation is a sign of strength.~Nietzsche
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